college diaries 2

This whole new side of parenting is really something. I mean, one minute, they depend on you, the next the need you,..... then they go to "I really am fine without you being by my side every waking moment of the day,....but stay close"..........to "Huh? Email? Snail mail? Uh, I've got ping pong to play, and trekking around town to do." Duh. Yeah, YOU left me at DUH!

I really have no complaints. This whole "letting go business" has either eluded me or just didn't happen like everyone warned me about. No crying episodes,..........yet. Only have sent cookies once. I try to send him something via "snail mail" so he has something to look forward to and open. I've been in touch with my college student as much as possible without suffocating him. See, the deal with that is simply this; give him enough space and hopefully he will want to keep in contact on his own terms because he wants to, misses all of us,....is a GOOD SON,...yadda yadda yadda. And if all else fails, I work with two sets of slippers, and ain't afraid to use 'em! *rethinking all of this,..............to myself, I think "Damnit! I better have raised a good son! And good kids for that matter!" LOL....................but yeah,....I really hope I have.

Reading his blog keeps me in touch with his young self. Its amazing that everything concerning him now is not contained into one lumped conversation starting with "How was your day at school today?" And if I'm lucky, I get to focus in on what he has to say at that point, but really, with 4 in your crew, everyone is fighting to get something in, making conversation feeling like your in a room full of stockbrokers. "Say what? No, really I was listening but Jo hurt his knee, Ash didn't do well on a test, and that boy said what? to you?,... and when is that money due again? Just tell me again please, and now everyone,....please be quiet so I can get all of this." In fact, our conversations (Gigi and mine) are like piecing together an interesting puzzle, that never really gets solved. I gather info from cell phone conversations, texting, home phone calls, actual "snail mail", email,....facebook.... his blog,... and in the future, maybe his friends. His brother is usually first in finding out info since they text back and forth everyday. I love that. I know he misses his big brother a lot, and knowing they're in touch makes everyone feel like there's still "4" when infact there are now "3". All in all, keeping in touch is okay right now. I do wish there was more going on, but that's not what's supposed to be happening right now. And I'm okay with it.

And talk about adventures! He's had a few already! And thank goodness, its not much to worry about...................yet! Well, I sure hope not. I mean, the trek downhill by bike going 40mph+ in the dark on the highway made me nervous, but he's fine. And he had a wild time experiencing it. Sure, I would have told him, "I rather you wouldn't. And If you do, please go SLOW, and remember, it only takes on little blip on the highway for you to either get hit, face plant and break your face, or drop of the side of that there mountain." But never got the chance. And he knew this would come out of my mouth. And I know he thought about it. But again, he was fine. *whew!,............thank you, God............

Every day, I check email, text, voice mess, mailbox,.... and hope I hear something. I'm extremely proud and happy when I do, and okay when I don't "hear" anything. He's living. And every nite,...well...until just recently, I text him with "good nite". But I think it and pray every nite as I go into his brothers and sister's rooms. That's something that will never change.

hmmmmmmmmm....its almost time for dinner and then relaxing with the crew before bed. Its Friday nite, and I really doubt I'll hear from him tonight. That's okay. There's always Sunday. Can't wait to "hear" what he's up to now. But for me, now, its time to spend it with the crew. Two of them are in the "I'm fine without you, but stay close phase"... and one is still "I need you just to see how goofy I really am".................I love that latter stage!