helluuuu eveyone,..well,..maybe three of you,........not many more visit, so,... been awhile since i've last blogged, and sad to say,... not another beach diary as of late either,....drat!... just been too busy,...too busy with so much, so much of everyone else's stuff,.... damage control being one of them,...and i do it because of my need to help others, help the situation at hand to the best of my ability,.......................and so,.... quite frankly, i am done,..............................................
............done doing damage control for everyone else,... done doing so much for others............. and not taking care of what matters most to me,....my crew,. .. my "business",.....me........................i'm getting lost in this shuffle of madness with no one to blame but myself,............................
*funny lil side note here,......................i wish i could blame someone else for all of this!... LOL..yeah,..i know,...'evil gidget!....EVIL!'....oh well,..blame it on the damn evil monkeys!...let's move on!...............................yeah,...but to place blame on all the others, would be easier,..kinda self satisfying,.... but in the end,.....................its me letting it all happen,....infact, encouraging it,..."yeah, sure,........i'll bend over and take another!"............................anyhow,.........................
.....................so what i am trying to say is this,...............i know myself,..............and refuse to let this be ALL of me,..............consume me,..............i know i will "relapse into the same darn pattern",...but just smarter this time,..... not give all of me, thus leaving me exposed more than i want and can handle,........................................and for now,... i don't need all of the unnecessary *BS,............right? no,............i don't,...................................
I will hold dear to my heart, what's important, because somewhere down the road,...i have let it slip a little away,...putting unimportant things and people there,...........................so, back to basics,................back to being the insane, REAL me,...................and only for those who are worth it,............
and to everything/everyone else?........................you can still have me,......................for a "price" so to speak,.................................................ha, ha, ha,..... i just need to take care of what is important to me, before all of you,.........................hate me for being real, but hate is a strong word and emotion,..............................deal with it,.....................................
yeah, this has been a venting session, if anything,...... stuff on my mind,...........................but i think today, ... i am in a better place,.............. i just am,................................realization and full circle are mind blowing,..........................i've reached realization many times before,............and when i reach full circle,..............i'll tell ya all about it,.......................................
......................................be good to those who matter most to you....even if they are not good to you,... they learn from example,...*"heck,... i'm still waiting,....LOL"...................its worth it,..it is,...
.........be well, and may the sand on our endless stretch of beach find itself blowing near your feet,.......frolic!............................
............done doing damage control for everyone else,... done doing so much for others............. and not taking care of what matters most to me,....my crew,. .. my "business",.....me........................i'm getting lost in this shuffle of madness with no one to blame but myself,............................
*funny lil side note here,......................i wish i could blame someone else for all of this!... LOL..yeah,..i know,...'evil gidget!....EVIL!'....oh well,..blame it on the damn evil monkeys!...let's move on!...............................yeah,...but to place blame on all the others, would be easier,..kinda self satisfying,.... but in the end,.....................its me letting it all happen,....infact, encouraging it,..."yeah, sure,........i'll bend over and take another!"............................anyhow,.........................
.....................so what i am trying to say is this,...............i know myself,..............and refuse to let this be ALL of me,..............consume me,..............i know i will "relapse into the same darn pattern",...but just smarter this time,..... not give all of me, thus leaving me exposed more than i want and can handle,........................................and for now,... i don't need all of the unnecessary *BS,............right? no,............i don't,...................................
I will hold dear to my heart, what's important, because somewhere down the road,...i have let it slip a little away,...putting unimportant things and people there,...........................so, back to basics,................back to being the insane, REAL me,...................and only for those who are worth it,............
and to everything/everyone else?........................you can still have me,......................for a "price" so to speak,.................................................ha, ha, ha,..... i just need to take care of what is important to me, before all of you,.........................hate me for being real, but hate is a strong word and emotion,..............................deal with it,.....................................
yeah, this has been a venting session, if anything,...... stuff on my mind,...........................but i think today, ... i am in a better place,.............. i just am,................................realization and full circle are mind blowing,..........................i've reached realization many times before,............and when i reach full circle,..............i'll tell ya all about it,.......................................
......................................be good to those who matter most to you....even if they are not good to you,... they learn from example,...*"heck,... i'm still waiting,....LOL"...................its worth it,..it is,...
.........be well, and may the sand on our endless stretch of beach find itself blowing near your feet,.......frolic!............................
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