forgot one!

ah,...another one i messed with,..............i think the eyes came out amazing,.... pretty cool view,...

tweaking the natural,....

wow,..so yeah,..i messed up and left the date and time on the bottom...SO WHAT!.... if you look at it from a different perspective,..its art in its rarest form,....... whatev,.................but here is something i like to look at,......................

full circle,....

I just finished reading the eldest of my crew's prompt (well, one of them) for one of his college applications. And needless to say,... I started tearing up. Yeah, no surprise there! But not for obvious reasons, but rather what I had hoped would happen. Its coming full circle,...................

And let me stop here and add,................yeah, "Gidget will anyway!"..................... that I do believe in the full circle of things. But I also believe in "mini-circles" of life, achievement, and balance, if you will. And if I need to explain that,.............well, you'll just have to wait for another blog! *Ahem! So this is one of those "mini-circles"...................that will definitely make it to the larger,............

While reading his prompt, I felt like I had to 'really' read it, meaning this was not just a surface writing but rather an in depth reading. That is how he writes. He uses big words,...big ideas,.... and just paints a picture most cannot understand. And how beautiful it is to see this in him. Yes, he has a long way to go in his writing but really,....... its really good. He is definitely set apart from the rest of the "sheep" which is one thing I have stressed. I'm glad he's unique and not the like the rest.

In reading, he's quite confident, if not pompous yet in such a way, that it is unique to him. By all means, he is not an arrogant fool, but a gentle soul whom is confident in whom he is becoming. He states what he has done, in a nutshell,..... why he challenges himself, why he finds if so exciting, and what he wants to do,..................where he fantasizes his talents will take him. Oh, I do hope he goes where he wants to go in life. He has such a passion for learning, and it makes me so proud to see this in him. Full circle. Its what I wanted for him, for them. The passion for learning and not stopping there. There are many things I want for my crew. But this, this passion for not settling for their basic education at the time, but rather pushing the limits of why and why not, and seeing what else is out there,.........that's where I want my crew to be. Everything changes at different rates, so expect it and learn from it. Grasp it, and do what you will. But be a part of something bigger than you.

He has such dreams,.............................*sniff.....................................

Believe that what you do in the first few months of life matter in a child. Believe you can sculpt them, and guide them to the best of your ability. Believe that your child wants you to, even if he never says it. Believe that even if he never says it,....................you had such a strong influence in giving him a solid foundation to grow on....................................and keep believing,................

gas is the reason i can't frolic,....

yeah,...member when gas was this much? feels like too long ago, and actually, it wasn't,....just sucks,....cuz now,...its hard for me to frolic,.................................

art

I am often asked "Why even bother,...WHY do you blog?" Is there a so-called "format"? Well, I skipped that class, and glad I did. And I figure, if one does not want to hear my nonsense nor read it, well, you have that choice. But in some way, its rather theraputic to me. I've mentioned before that I really never have the chance to "talk" so,...................................

And as far as someone listening,....................I don't care either way.

Here's a sampling of my "art". I don't think many get my art either, but I still push forward! I think I was meant to create. And h*ll, if I'm wrong about that, well, its been fun! I'm still working on what works well together, but in truth, its what catches my eye and holds my interest long enough for me to make it, draw it,....encompass it all together. It's how I work.

day shoot

...went on a day shoot with a professional photographer, and well, here's what i came up with,... these are my 'first impression faves' at the moment,... the first two are interesting to look at,... there's more than what meets the eye,...meaning they struck my eye/mind, with what i captured,...hey, its my art, so its what i like,..or what i find interesting,... and the other two just show you that when the professional is away "working with his subjects" the others will play,........................

damage control

helluuuu eveyone,..well,..maybe three of you,........not many more visit, so,... been awhile since i've last blogged, and sad to say,... not another beach diary as of late either,....drat!... just been too busy,...too busy with so much, so much of everyone else's stuff,.... damage control being one of them,...and i do it because of my need to help others, help the situation at hand to the best of my ability,.......................and so,.... quite frankly, i am done,..............................................

............done doing damage control for everyone else,... done doing so much for others............. and not taking care of what matters most to me,....my crew,. .. my "business",.....me........................i'm getting lost in this shuffle of madness with no one to blame but myself,............................

*funny lil side note here,......................i wish i could blame someone else for all of this!... LOL..yeah,..i know,...'evil gidget!....EVIL!'....oh well,..blame it on the damn evil monkeys!...let's move on!...............................yeah,...but to place blame on all the others, would be easier,..kinda self satisfying,.... but in the end,.....................its me letting it all happen,....infact, encouraging it,..."yeah, sure,........i'll bend over and take another!"............................anyhow,.........................

.....................so what i am trying to say is this,...............i know myself,..............and refuse to let this be ALL of me,..............consume me,..............i know i will "relapse into the same darn pattern",...but just smarter this time,..... not give all of me, thus leaving me exposed more than i want and can handle,........................................and for now,... i don't need all of the unnecessary *BS,............right? no,............i don't,...................................

I will hold dear to my heart, what's important, because somewhere down the road,...i have let it slip a little away,...putting unimportant things and people there,...........................so, back to basics,................back to being the insane, REAL me,...................and only for those who are worth it,............

and to everything/everyone else?........................you can still have me,......................for a "price" so to speak,.................................................ha, ha, ha,..... i just need to take care of what is important to me, before all of you,.........................hate me for being real, but hate is a strong word and emotion,..............................deal with it,.....................................

yeah, this has been a venting session, if anything,...... stuff on my mind,...........................but i think today, ... i am in a better place,.............. i just am,................................realization and full circle are mind blowing,..........................i've reached realization many times before,............and when i reach full circle,..............i'll tell ya all about it,.......................................

......................................be good to those who matter most to you....even if they are not good to you,... they learn from example,...*"heck,... i'm still waiting,....LOL"...................its worth it,..it is,...

.........be well, and may the sand on our endless stretch of beach find itself blowing near your feet,.......frolic!............................

"oh,....the beach diaries,.."

Hi. Hope all of you,....(how many is that?...well, i'll just never know!),..are well. Today, I flaked going to my fave spot. This being because I felt resposibility lurking around every inch of my house,......! EEK! And so,...I gave in to being an adult for a day,....just ONE day, mind you!

But yesterday,..... was unbelievably good! The surf was rolling in endlessly, temperature was almost perfect,............i say almost perfect, because there is no perfect,...........well, there is, but,...........ANYHOW,....the sand was untouched brown sugar,...mine to frolic in! *YAY!!!!..............but, my current physique got the best of me and so,....... I frolicked on the stairs first.

Doing sets of stairs is not even a chore to me. First off, I'm where I want to be,...my most fave place. Second, its just you and the stairs,....and the surf, sand, and sun,.... No expectations but my own, and I like that. I compete well against myself. I'm a very competitive person by nature, I suppose. Mommy-hood has calmed me down some. But I work well by myself. And as soon as I know someone else is onto what I'm doing...... I move on. Meaning, "been there, done that, don't need to prove anything to you,...." And when the time is right, I go back. So, stairs,............... instead of doing the popular set by the life guard station, I found a quiet set further down. Oh how wonderful! First off,.... quiet alone time,...member? "Me, and the stairs...." And as soon as I started my set, I found that the little landings in between didn't make it easier, but rather harder and gave me more of a workout, which I needed. Well, lets just say, gidget got her butt kicked! And I only managed 5 sets!!!! Oh, that didn't make me happy at all, when knowing my best set less than 1 1/2 years ago....(has it been that long?) was 18 sets (up and down),... 14 being my average! Ay! but, it gives me something to go on,... to compete against, and just do better. And I will.

After my 5th set, I kicked off the shoes, and went running in the sand. Again, disappointment lurked nearby,...because I was stopping sooner than I wanted and what I had remembered. Again, not giving up,...I probably ran (maybe 1 1/2- 2 miles?) dunno,.................oh well. I'd be happy with one mile. Sand was superb under my feet. I was able to catch some surfing action which is always a plus! And to my delight, I watched the older guys surf which meant they really were enjoying themselves and giving everyone a great show. True soul surfing,...you could just feel it. Real lax,... moving with the waves as one,.....just awesome,...................and that's how I survive running in the sand. Somedays are better than others. And some just suck,..no not really,.............................not if I'm there,....then the day is beautiful no matter what.

Today, I had to be happy with just an hour long trek around the neighborhood. It was good. Got some good exercise and outdoor air. Put some Hawaiian Tropic on and sunblock and that just brought me back to the beach anyhow. I was sorta disappointed because I had planned to just sneak off for like, an hour and a half. But, no,..got stuff to do. Everyone does. And if I play my cards right,.... Monday is gonna be a kick a$$ beach day, so,.......................................

.....................................gidget just might find herself where she wants to be............

My weekend is busy as ever,......................crew is all over the place,.............visiting family from out of town,....................so,.......................

May your weekend find you by the shore,............with sand between your toes...... sunblock on your nose,....................and no time schedule,.......................

....................................me.................................................

p.s.
wish us luck!!!!.... crew is doing a number of things!!!!

"Beach Diaries"

okay,...so i tried to upload a photo for you, but well,...whatev! There was a "problem".....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm,...

oh yeah,..*ahem! the "Beach Diaries"..kinda self explanatory, if you will, but guess I'll explain for some,.....another time! But for today.....gidget's faves for today's beach day,........

song to surf to: "When You Were Young" ~ The Killers
thing to do: sets of stairs and running as close to the surf as possible
music list to listen to: iPod set to "Jo's Xmas List"~ various artists rockin' this set, especially "Red Jumpsuit Apparatus"
conversation: high possibility, especially those frolicking towards the surf, like me,........
tasty treat: Jamba Juice's "Pink Starburst" with protein boost,...yeah, lots of calories, but tons of good stuff... a must!

so,...until later?...yeah,....till later,..................................

why do i bother anyway?

yeah,..so uh...thanx for the comment?...i guess?..... wow,..it was sooooo enlightening,.....dude!...throw me a friggn' bone, why don't cha?......

I am seriously alone on this one,...... its not hard to follow,.... and no.... i'm not jumping off a cliff any time soon,.....................................
............................much to your dismay,.............................................

and sometimes, we blog,...

I am often looked at as "stupid, with no life".... and knowing that I blog, well, it just adds to the sess pool. For those who entertain the thought that gidget has something extraordinary on her mind,....well, you lead me to believe that you do think well of me. But I know you don't. NO, this is not a "pity me" blog, but rather, a defining moment in gidget's history. You see, I am sometimes surrounded by "do-gooders" who really want to pay attention, want to make me believe I make sense, or that I do mean something in this world. But its not right, and not fair to make me believe all of this, when I know all of you guys don't believe it yourselves for one minute. So now I ask you this,... any one of you,...

Why do you do it? Why lead me to believe that what I am saying/blogging matters? It doesn't to you,...or you,....or even you *in the back row! *sigh,......

I guess everyone just wants to be heard, and validated. Right? How wonderful it would be to just have a person's attention, if only for a moment, to run amuck with their thoughts, and have them hang on every word, every thought, and not feel responsible for the after math......But what am I saying? Even I don't know.......

I have been silent for soooo long. I thought that I had grown,... my thoughts, my opinions,... I felt like I mattered. And just when I believed all of this, I realized that no one was listening after all. No one cared. What makes one individual more enthralling than the next?

It has been said to me a million times...."you're always there, you listen soooo well,... i can really talk to you,..." But ,.....who's there for me?

Here's a sobering thought,........

I don't need anyone, nor do you. Just when we lean upon someone, they lose balance anyway, get lost in their own selfish drama, so,...?..... Which is a good thing! Ha! It is, because, who better to count on than yourself? You are the one person who will be there, day in day out,..on this crazy road trip through life. And no drugs, counseling, friend, or foe can get you through it better than you. I'm right, aren't I...............................................................?.......

*sigh,...but still,....it'd be nice to be heard,...................................................................

proof of what really goes on,...

and this is why i was meant to have a crew, and this is also why i have a camera and can video tape,...................................

late blog of excitement

wow,...this is really going to be something,...to try and turn that exicitement back on from last Sunday,.... *stretching out, and preparing to jump start her excitement,....

And why, you ask? Last Sunday was one of my crew's first ever gymnastics meet! It was sooooo exciting! Nerves galore, but not much for her. She was more excited than anything,.... and very tired by the end of the day.

The day started at 4am for me,... and if you truly know Gidget...you know she was up making a lei, candy bags for all the other gymnasts, and packing up everything for the next day. Needless to say, lil gidget didn't collapse into be until well after 1am.

After getting up at 4am,..waking everyone else up,... I had hair to deal with. Yeah, hair! She has very long hair, past her waist,....and in recent years, its just getting thicker. It's beautiful! But all week, I was playing with it to get it plastered to her head just right, and up off the shoulders like its mandated to all the gymnasts. I can sooooooooooooooooo do "cheer hair",...no prob! But I just taught myself how to french braid, and was struggling to just get it as perfect and plastered and up for it to be decent. Luck was on my side,.... I also went through the whole "Now you know it takes me some time, and if it doesn't come out like I want it to, I will be pulling it out, starting over,...and YOU just need to be patient and know this is probably going to happen,...SO,..just go with my flow, k?,...no eyeball roll,..no heavy sighs,...cuz that will just irritate both of us,....so just relax, and we'll both be happy" -speech,.. and it worked! LOL *did gidget mention she looked daunting?....ha, ha, ha,..

So, uh, yeah, hair in place,...leo and warm-ups on,...oatmeal in the belly, snacks packed,...lei out of fridge,....... papa up,.........................directions in car,.....on way to get grandma,...... hit the 405 South,.... and we're off! *and yeah,...got the camera battery and camera,..............................

We get there in plenty of time,..thank goodness. I'm more excited than her, I think! But not nervous cuz I'm hoping she just has a great showing for her first time, and comes off the floor with a smile and knowing she did her best. Let's skip past everything else and get to the events! Cuz, in this case the story will get more mundane,....i think i've lost most of you already??? And btw, yes...i was shooting everything and everyone.....duh?

K, now on to the events! She warmed up very well! Our studio looked great! All uniform, all clean, and strong,...and together! I had no idea what an impression we made,...................anyhow,.... her first event was floor,....*side note!!!!oh, btw, her best events according to her coaches are vault and floor. She has been struggling with her back handspring but her dance and grace on floor are amazing they say, considering she has no formal dance training. She, along with a few others, was just brought up to team (competing), and have learned all the routine competion skills in like.... 2-3 months? And she competed against girls 1 year in that division,.......so,...she 's very new,......................anyhow,...on vault she is very strong in running and hitting her mark and vaulting,........BACK to the events!!!! k..so! On floor,.... she did very well! She threw her round off back handspring well,..... not perfect, but she landed it very well,... and she even smiled at the judges! Ah, how funny! She totally looked like she was enjoying herself. I was sooooo proud! Even her father and grandma were soooo amazed, for her first time......................................

She vaulted next,..... and did an amazing job! Again, both grandma and papa were amazed by her running form and speed. She looked fearless going at the vault. In her level, she vaults on a mat. Will things change when she actually hits the "horse"?.......................dunno,...she's got some power though............

Her bars were pretty good. She struggles with her skills. She muscles up on some of her skills but can do all her skills. She did fairly well here. She didn't fall! This would have been a major deduction..................

On beam,..which is one of my faves, she had two (maybe more?) things that caused her minor deductions. Other than that,...she was very strong and graceful. I love watching her beam routine. She has such poise and grace,...and she's strong! But she took a fall,..pretty much collapsed on the beam about a month ago, and I think its still in her head. At that time, she wouldn't stay off the beam, but rather made herself get back up, and struggle to do her handstand,...she would not give up! But again,...I think its in the back of her head,...she agrees with me,.. that if she gets to thinking about it,..with any of her skills and loses focus,...she doesn't do well. Anyhow,.... her leg hit the beam when she casted up,.... and she didn't do her twist dismount,...but got back up, and did it anyway which entitled her to a lesser deduction. Now, don't ask gidget about the deductions cuz right now, its confusing to me! I just pretty much know if she messed up,...

K, now for the super exciting part,...!!!!!........ she got two medals!!! yeah, TWO MEDALS!!!! Now her division was really broken up, had she competed against all the ages, it could have been different, but the excitement and joy would not have been,.......................SHE GOT HER FIRST "9" AT HER FIRST EVER MEET!!! and that is amazing in its own right! She received low marks on her beam (sniff!) and her bars and she knew this might happen. She placed 5th on vault with a 9.150! Wow,..she was soooo happy! And for floor, she placed 3rd with a 8.325, not bad! Considering that she needs to perfect her tumbling and one can always get better with a routine in time, this was great! I am sooo proud of her! She is soooo proud of herself! And the most important thing ever, is that what I wanted for the day, happened. She left the floor with a smile, knowing she did her best. That's all I really wanted,....plus I had hoped she would do well.......................................but,.............. who's kidding?...... The scores, medals, and just overall excitement definitely added to it. So, for the first one,.... (thanks to God for keeping her well,..........) we had a great time. Here's another exciting piece of news,.....she made sectionasl! Yeah, in fact our whole studio/gym made sectionals. Btw,..how rude! I should say here that our studio placed everwhere, pretty much in the top, and overall scorers and top team awards. That's great! So kudos to the team, the parents, and coaches. Without all of you, none of this could happen! *clapping wildly!!!.....................

So until then,.....wish us luck at sectionals,....definitely wish us a great time,........ and I'll keep you posted,.....of course, i left a photo at the top.......................sums up the day,...........................................dont' you think?...................

okay guys,...here's my eye,...

well,...here's my eye,.... I saw this and thought, "There's something beautiful about the park swings,...... " This was taken at 8 am, during our Cali heat wave, so the sun was just about done wisking away all the dew,...if there was any! The park employees had just finished raking the sand. No kids around,.....*sigh,..... can you imagine being a 5 year old, and seeing this? Oh, man! Your personal playground untouched, yours for the taking. You could probably run amuck and see your whole day of 20 minutes mapped out in front of you when you turned around to look at the sand. Kinda like the "Family Circle" cartoons, when you see their footsteps all over the place when they could have easily fed the dog in like, 5 steps? LOL

Still, it's my eye, that morning..... untouched, and I think its beautiful,............................

so here's that "First Day of My Senior Year" pic,....

okay,...is it just me,....or do you guys see something wrong with this here pic? I mean,....come on!.... besides the cracks in the pavement and no apparent artsy composition,....do you see how big the books are?!?!?!!? oh yeah!... expecially the one on the bottom?...........

just ridiculous!.....yeah,...he signed up for that class, but really,...........did the book have to be that big?.... its like,..11 pounds! I almost freaked at the idea that he would have to lug it back and forth,...... and no, he doesn't,....the students have a copy for home and a set for class,....... btw, his back pack is full too,.......................that's why he's carrying books,........

remember "PeeChee" folders? yeah,..us "brainiacs" never got by with one of those,..we had a 'binder',..... but we still did not have has many books,.........................................................just amazing,....oh! its an AP Art History book, btw,....and i've been indulging in it during the wee hours of the night when i can't sleep...............rather interesting, it is, but then again,...i love history and love art,......................many wonderful photos of original art throughout the history of mankind,......from its early beginnings,...from the cave art drawings found in France!...but no, the book is not entirely pictures,........................much text, much reading,......

anyhow,..just like to share this photo with all of you, and let you know get a sense of what your senior might be bringing home on his first day of his last year,.....*sniff!............................................................................

on being bored,...

hmmmmm,...I am bored. I am bored, bored, bored! I should've played hookey today and went to the beach, like I had planned this morning. But, *sigh,..... I looked around me, saw 'Responsibility' lurking everywhere,... and well,.............I'm where I need to be at the moment.

I've decided to make some blueberry muffins to brighten my day. Licking the bowl sure seemed to help. But the loads of laundry, and straightening up every room today just seem to drag me down. I know why,.....................its sunny outside! Total beach day!!!

I also just miss the crew. Funny, when they're about, its chaos but never the same day in and day out. I know by 2p.m. today, when I start my "job", it'll be a different story cuz my mind will be on overdrive trying to make all my windows, all my pickups, get all the info I can until dragging myself wearily into the house (not for the last time that day!) to forage for some food to put on the table and call it "dinner",...................and hoping its yummy, at that!

*sigh,................its just one of those days,.................

I had wanted to blog about something else,...maybe one of my many pics that only I find beauty in. My bro is constantly telling me I have an "eye" for a different kind of picture,....art.....maybe its his way of telling me that I suck. Could be,........................he's earning kudos and money,.... and well, I have my "wall" that I alone am proud of. No jealousy here, though. I admire what he does and am happy he's found his niche and can make some nice money from it too.

So, now,...I leave you with the smell of blueberry muffins filling the house. Along with my 6 more loads of laundry to do,......................................let's just hope tomorrow is a beach day for gidget....cuz somehow, someway,.....she needs to get there,.............................................for my soul's sake!.......................

and the school year is off to a , uh start,...

Whew! Is it just me, or did the summer just fly by? Its definitely been a surreal summer for me. A lot of reminiscing,............................my oldest is a senior. Where has the time gone? Its true, one does find the time gone by so quickly,.....you start to think back to the first day of school........................and DAMN IT!!!! I forgot to take a pic of his first day as a senior!!!!! aaaaaarrrrrrgggggggg! Yeah, gidget soooooooooo does NOT know how she is gonna live with herself for the rest of the school year for missing this classic scrapbook moment! moving on,..... i thought i was painting a picture here,..............a nice melancoly one, at that,.......................

And so,..........reminiscing and all,..yadda, yadda, yadda ,.....................I have decided that all though I consider myself rather artsy and avant garde,.....I will not be posting my "art",..well, not most of the time,....because all the best photos are already being posted on jimcayer.blogspot.com......................but I will surely post random photos of my own from time to time. NO WORRIES!

back to the senior year,............................................

Its a great thing to look at the beginning of this year and know as a parent, I've had a hand in getting him this far,.................he's done it himself, but the foundation was set. I do hope its a strong one. I do hope it has a lot of love and hope to get him through not just this year, but whatever lies beyond the tassel and certificate. I can only hope its enough to make him stronger than he realizes he truly is and can be,................for what life journey will take him. *sigh,..... random thoughts invade my mind,...............................pre-k seems like yesterday, but yet,...I know I was just "on" him about finishing "War and Peace",..hey! He chose it! *gidget mutters,..."choose wisely next time, my son,..." The summer before Pre-K was soooo exciting,...so hopeful! I mean,... he was going to school,...armed with skills taught at home clearly readying him for whatever lay ahead before 10:20 a.m.,......when, happily, I would be picking him up from his first real day without me waiting excitedly to hear what his day was like. And then the questions ensued,...."Did you like your first day? Was the teacher nice? Was everyone else nice? Did you make any friends? What did you learn today?"..... and yeah,... the other normal stuff like,.. "Did you have to go to the bathroom? Did you wash your hands?" And when Mom said, "Well, this is the beginning of them growing up, before you know it, he'll be graduating from 5th grade! And when he starts middle school, it'll all go by sooooo fast! Can you imagine him graduating high school?" And hiding the tears, I remember saying,"No, I can't. I mean, he was just gone half of the day!" But now,..even though I don't want to, I can. Honestly, I can sometimes and others, I can't.

So, I will wait until I have to start my day of carpooling, homework, and various scheduling,.... and I'll ask how his day went, just like I have for the past18 years, and I'll listen with hidden tears, and remember to make the most of it, and listen carefully, as not to miss anything,...because this is his journey towards graduation,...... it will end only to start the next aspect of his life. And,..............................its going to be rather exciting,....................... I can't wait to hear all about it,.........................................what a ride,..............................

........................me......................................

misadventures

where oh where is my new blog post?.....hmmmmmmmmm,..not again,..... !!!

craziness of the week,....

......as if the week wasn't crazy enough! ...cheer camp for the week, baseball still,... kids wanting to go here and there,......aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!...and NO BEACH!.... its sweltering too,.....hmmmmmmmmmmm,... i sooooo need to garner some beach time next week,........

anyhow,.............have some photos i'm gonna share soon,...but in the meantime,.... i've stumbled across a fellow blogger,....check his photos out @ jimcayer.blogspot.com..... you won't be disappointed,........................
................me....................

Hello all! Yes, gidget has invaded your world,....well, if you want me to! From time to time, I will post my "misadventures", my randon thoughts and ways,.....my incessant "going-ons" about music and lyrics,.....and of course my little dabblings in photograpy. Beware! This blog is DEFINITELY by far, for people who can multi task, cuz I never stay on the same track..........................ya gotta keep up!